Now

I feel a little more in control. Got a diagnosis of manic-depression today--mild case of it. Seems to fit pretty well. Does seem to be setting in worse as I get older. But the impulse buying has stopped. For now.

If only I knew why I stop and why I heal and why I don't and why I bite the skin around my thumbnails until it bleeds. I'd like to be at peace once and for all. But I suppose it keeps me going, this need to heal. Otherwise, why would I even need to move?

I could rest.

Ah, rest.